Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Breastfeeding journey: the sad story

What I'm about tell you all today was the most sad day of my life..

It was on a fine Sunday morning (last week). I was postcall. The long Saturday at work I had the day prior, made me couldn't wait to go back to my family as soon as I finished my shift. Who likes working on a weekend right?..and to come home to my little one, is a thing to look forward to daily.

Reached home, had for awhile. Then I unpacked my cooler bag to keep my EBM that I managed to pump during the busy oncall.

Went to my deep freezer and found that the door was not properly closed!!..I HAD THE SHOCK OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!...

All cair ;(

All my EBM..the hardwork throughout the past 3 months gone down the drain when all my EBM got thawed!!!!...

I wasn't aware that I couldn't refreeze thawed milk even though it is still cold. I sought advices from people in FB, and most of them said even a partially thawed milk cannot be refreezed..but some said the one that has crystal ice, can.

Can you feel what I felt mommies??...I was just so jaw dropped..and minutes after I found myself doing Adele: i'm rolling in the deeeeeeeeeeep...CRYING!!!!...

About 40 plastic bags and bottles full with EBM got wasted. I asked my husband to throw it cause it was just killing me :(.

Worried of couldn't continue supplying EBM for my baby, I felt like closing one eye and refreeze the ones that were partially thawed. Until my husband said that he wouldn't risk our son just because I wanted to exclusively breastfed him, I realised that I had acted foolishly.. Am I out of my mind???..felt so stupid!

Ready to be thrown

Since I started working, my milk production has gone down.. Normally I was able to express almost 12oz in 15 I only managed to get only half of my current state, I couldn't cope with 'pump harini, for supply hari esok' cos I wouldn't be able to do son dah start minum banyak..and there are times he can finish 7oz in one go.. :(

After checking all the EBM, I only managed to save around 15 packets/bottles.. for that I felt grateful, but couldn't help myself from getting stressed up knowing that I had to double my effort from now onwards..

After the incidence, I was in a very stress mode for the next 2-3 days.. Husband kept reminding me that it was not worth it and it would only jeopardise my milk production further.

Husband bought a latch to make sure it won't happen again... I recommend for those who are planning to buy a deep-freeze, beli the ones yang bukaan pintu di bahagian atas..bukan tepi..

 I've started taking Maxolon ever since. Malas nak makan-makan supplement that claimed to boost up milk production. I never like supplements, I'm just plain lazy. So Maxolon would be a better choice, telan for 2 weeks je. Alhamdulillah after 2 days of Maxolon, I can see the difference, and Alhamdulillah, I can feel that it's getting back to normal.

ALLAH maha berkuasa. Dia boleh tarik rezeki kita bila-bila masa yang di-kehendakiNya. Kalau bukan dari segi harta, atau nyawa, EBM pon boleh. I should be more grateful now...insaf...insaf...

I'm sure all mommies out there understand how I feel, and..yes..breastfeeding is such a big deal for me..

And for you sayang, mommy will try hard to give you the best... I love you


~najwa~ said...

i know how u feel,bersabarlah. InsyaAllah ada rezekinya si kecik comel debab tu ;)

knjwa pernah jd mcm ni,rupanya letrik kena potong pasal lupa bayar,almost 48 hr baru ada balik, tanpa husband ada disisi masa tu, dgn bwk 2 budak,angkut EBM sorang2,pi agihkan kat kedai runcit,rumah jiran.....tumpang freezer.thats the worse ever experience.huhu

Tahirah A. said...

Kedai runcit???...seriioussss??..Kak najwa memang sgt brave!

dura m. said...

I feel u. I lost all my EBM during my recent free trip to guangzhou. Tapi tu sebab i was unaware how do i keep my ebm when travel oversea. Rasa dah cover dan faham semua, tapi rupanya i salah :(

But still, losing 100oz yang dipam selama 4 days due to my lack of knowledge was ptffffffff.

And i just couldnt bring myself to buang e EBM stok yang ber100oz tu. Rasa sakit tersangat di ulu hati.. So, i asked husband to do it.

When u mentioned rezeki, i terfikir yang sama sebab rasa nk marah sangat how ignorancenya i..Dan balik drpd trip, milk production pun jatuh mendadak. Cuma dpt 2-3oz walau tak pam 4 jam. Yes...rezeki boleh ditarik bila bila masa....

my sister pun suh i makan Maxolon..alhamdulillah lepas tu, bila da kena saiko kena positif for e sake of milk production dan maybe due to Maxolon, alhamdulillah masih ada rezeki untuk baby...

I know you are strong. U can do it! My prayer is with u, let's collect EBM for our loved ones! ;)

I know u are strong.

Raieza Hanim R said...

Hi Kak

Did you contacted the expert on the EBM? Last time my house ran out of electricity and some of the EBM went cair too, I was so sad I feel so depressed! My husband called the kumpulan susu ibu expert in Malaysia (he googled it) and they said if the milk is halfly thawed (still got ice crystals in it), it is still okay and can still be re-freeze!

And I learnt from another group in FB even for yg dah complete thawed pon the susu tak rosak, still in right temperature right? Tak basi just that few vitamins and the good deeds in it dah mati la if we re-freeze it. Your call :)

It's okay, hopefully the stock boleh dicover balik insyaAllah! :)

hamiDahRecKs said...

sabar la...but the truth is we still can keep the ebm as long got ice crystal.aku pon penah lupa nk tutup rapat deep freezer aku.tapi aku refreeze je.elok je anak aku minum..but.keep pumping n breastfeed.caiyok2

Drama Queen said...

My god..byknya stock! How often did u pump in a day to get this much? I only have 3 packs of 3oz in my freezer! Lol!!! And omg if I were u pun I would be crying my eyes out. But don't worry... InsyaAllah there will be enough for ur lil one.. Keep up the good work!

ashieBee said...

tahirah! byk nyeee stock u. kalau i jadi u, confirm nangis kot. huhu. but im sure it all happened for a reason. insyallah ada la tu rezeki for ur cutie boy tu ;)


Wawa Tasliman said...

oh my goodness.. kesian nya.. sabar ok..

Nur ain Mohd Ghazali said...

kESIAnnye. sangatlah faham perasaan tu especially keje oncall ( nak cari masa kejar2 nak pam susu ), susu yang 4 oz nak buang pun rasa sayang.

Mommies, i know maxolon can pump up maxolon, tapi ape kate try makan supplemen shaklee plak, shaklee ade alfalfa which is also milk booster coz it helps promote ur breast tissue glands to produce milk.after all , its natural ~

kalau interested, can contact me nur ain at 0162036652. boleh sms/watsapp kalau malu2 nak call. kalau nak try2 dulu, i have the trial pack, cheaper and boleh tgk sesuai dgn diri masing2 ke tak.till then

Happy breastfeeding mommies!

fatin hanisah firman said...

hi tahirah, dear!

i was shocked to read about your EBM thawing! can't imagine how super frustrated you must be! i told my sister and she shared the same feelings jugak.

anyways i'm at now. disappeared from the blogosphere kejap! :)

hope all is well with you, hun :) tc

mama ila said...

hye hensem boy..hihi...salam kenal...ila follow sini